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(: 

soon

I REALIZE I USED TO BE A HAPPY PERSON

its been awhile i did not write

everything is changing now

who knows at the age of 21

i did a lot of mistakes

which obviously are sins

people keep on saying

it is normal when we are in our teen-world

but i wish i can close my eyes

and pretend that nothing had happened

nobody knows that i lost my smile

nobody knows i cry at night

nobody knows how i felt like dying

nobody knows i never stop thinking of him

of our memories

yeah

im stuck in my own world

and i do not need anyone to awake me

im already died

im eagerly waiting for god to take my soul away

there is no more anger in me

no more hatred

i keep on praying

we both together

we both become better

i never stop

and till then

i could not smile

SIN

i wont forget 

MY DAY AND NIGHT NOT FOR YOU ANYMORE

thank you for everything

thank you for the explanation

after what i have been through

you are not deserve to have me

i do not want to look at your face anymore

go away

NOT READY FOR A COMMITMENT

there is a stage in life where we have to change

where we have to give greater commitment

dear love

you do what ever you wanna do

imma stay in this fricking dream

MUMMY AND DADDY DID NOT MEAN TO DO IT

in deep depression.

i am sorry.

SORRY, TAK TAHAN!

sape sape sape

sape kata aku kental?

tak kental mana pon

beberapa titik kuar kat mata tadi

i shoud be stronger than this

imissyou and loveyou

why i can not foreseen any goodness of continue our relationship?

LAYAN JIWA TENGAH MALAM,AKU KENTAL LAGI.

helo.i am currently having sleep disorder.hahaha.so tak kurus mana pon.gems as always:)

still have lemak sana sini.

anyway

i may seems happy

jyeah

duo personalities

happy from 10 am till 10 pm

crying and sad from 10 pm to 10 am

LOL!

aiiyak

i miss you like hell

but i am so scared to take the risk to get back with you

i am so bored with all the lies,fights and so on

let it be like this

right?

nite my bby

i always have you in my world

iloveyoubbykhairi

WHAT EVER I WANT IS PINK

saje tade keje 

pink pink pink 

:)

LET ME LIVE WITH THE MEMORIES

i miss you:(

I CANNOT ALTER MY EGO IF YOU CANNOT DO IT TOO

as usual, this freaking feeling comes again at 3 am with suara's song constantly repeat on my laptop.
honestly, i cry every night before my eyes close properly and enter lala land.
i was and still having this kind of hope;

• to be with you until our heart stop beating,until the world stop spinning
• to love and be loved back
• nobody is important for us

nevertheless, i keep repeating to myself, that i cannot be with you

i am totally blur either to trust you or not

hell yeah my jealousy is too bad

i am sorry

i am to scared to lose you actually

you are still in my heart

to you

this might be the best

as i wont bother with your life anymore

but you know the consequences of this?

there will be a huge gap between us

that love no longer exist

until one day we ask each other 

"where the hell our love has gone?"

it is true

i cannot understand the presence of other girls in your life

but it is okay

i will let you do what ever you want

i deactivate my facebook

i did not call you, sms you

i did not ask ask ask and ask

i answer your call

i answer all your questions

is that better?

better right because i am following whatever you want

i do not want any fight

so

let it be like this

no more negotiation

i know the same thing will happen

AFTER ALL

IT IS MY MAJOR PROBLEM

i am sorry

i still love you and always love you

ADA CINTA ADA RINDU

i love you i love you i love you

IS IT WRONG TO LOVE YOU

IS IT WRONG TO LOVE YOU?

I WON THE BATTLE BUT LOST AT HEART.

baloo was my ex boyfriend.

masa bercinta dengan dia tak lama.

dia kt college dia kt kulim,cheq kt matrix penang

jumpa pon sebulan sekali

macam outing je an?

when i love someone

i am the type of girl that-loyal,full with love,jealousy all the time as i think that particular boyfriend of mine is not for other girls at all.

i was really brave enough to confront any girl that he was mine

yes i felt extremely happy

but i lost his love actually

so

i thought now i am so angelic

where my stupid jealousy had been vanished 

nevertheless it still exist and become worst

now

i don't feel like to love anyone

it's not their faults

it's mine

but i hope bby khairi knows that i became like this because

I LOVE HIM DAMN MUCH

i feel a huge guilty now

hence i punish myself

i hope i learn all the mistakes

sekian.cinta tak bermakna:(

p/s: ouh.nobody knows how much i love bby khairi.

SIAPA YANG SEDANG KAU SAYANG?

tajuk siapa yang sedang kau sayang neh sumber insipirasi nak belajar la konon.

seyesly, masa zezaman chacha koyak, bukak la youtube and dengar lagu zezaman zock zapak.

Mega - Bayangan Gurauan,Search - Gadisku,TO'KI - Hampa and banyak ag.

lagu lagu neh tolong kita express feelings actually.

try laaa.tayah memalu

pasti boleh:)

final exam start really soon

them away to ampang

hem

ape patut chacha bwt?

CERITA PASAL RAMBUT

my hair is getting worse day by day

seriously i need new hair cut

my hair is suffering from the perm thingy i did for the past 6 months ago

*ini rambut masa nampak cantek la konon*

                                  

*nak potong rambut cmneh, okay takkkk?*

  

* suka curl yg tepi tepi tuh.so insanely gorgeous*

 *short mebbe?heee*

 

*saje bg besar,neh la feverettttt!*

wait and see yeah!

I NEVER LEAVE YOU

super busy causes me and him into small fight.

haish

i never leave you

stand by you forever

 i love you bby khairi

JUST A DREAM

I love this song so much.Food for my ears.

NEVER THOUGHT..

situation 1 : today

I'll never talk again

Oh boy you've left me speechless

You've left me speechless, so speechless

situation 2 : yesterday

BBY K

:)

SEDAR DIRI

adakah aku neh di kategorikan perempuan jahat?

jahat sebab aku sayang sangat tam?

dulu aku boleh je tahan

bila tam wat perangai

aku tahan je, aku tade aa tinggikan suara aku yang penyek neh,tade ah mencarut ke ape ke,

chacha

sedar la diri

actually kau yang salah

kau yang tak betol

tak matang

ngoi

tau nak ngamuk je

laki camne camne pon

memang lumrah akan pandang yang laen gak

chacha tak leh nak expect laa tam nak ngan cha je all the time

tam got his own life

his friends and family

tam has change slowly

can you see that?

dang!

chacha neh yang full of negative vibe

chacha tipu bila chacha cakap chacha accept tam camner camner pon

padahahal chacha revenge and punish dia kan?

kan?kan?kan?

chacha sila berubah

kau naek lemak lak!

dah la da berlemak lemak

nak naek lemak laaa

tahi tol

dear bby

i am full of regret

i am sorry

:(

i love you bby khairi

ABSENCE DIMINISH SMALL LOVE

ouhyeah.

i'm in the mids of doing tons of assignments.

my internship will be started really soon which is end of november.

i guess it is on 29th november.

so i can say that i don't have much time to spend with mr boyfriend.

yalaa kan

da nak FINAL la plak an.

im having this kind of phobia

which is LONG DISTANCE RELATIONSHIP

homaiiigodddddd!

how?how?how?

he will go out with other girls?

he will not give me a call?

he will forget me?

the thing is for almost two year plus  

we have seen each other like everyday except for holidays

now i will be away for six months!

now God really wanna test us.

dah la penyaket jealous chacha sangat critical.

hence, there are few things i hafta do:

1# mr boyfriend and me hafta be honest and we should discuss what are our expectations. eg; i must try to trust him and i know of course la dia akan kawan with others. so chacha tak patut la nak kongkong.dia blaja lama lagi kot.he still under student's phase.so kena paham.macam la cha tak tau student's life camner kan.sume tuh tak ke mana.

2# try to meet up as many as we can.since weekdays we all gonna be super duper busy, we gonna meet up friday and saturday. during the meeting, heart to heart kena ada so that tade la perasaan tuh hilang, and avoid la marah marah. nape nak marah marah if you only have little time to spend with an? if mr boyfriend wat hal , so many think kena re-think.

3# communication!like seriously, important sangat. i wont miss to give him a wake up call every morning. cha still la kena encourage dia blaja.and as a result, he must call me before sleep.okay i nak this thing compulsory. tak kira.how about sms?i dont think we have to sms 24/7.enough with the calls.we have to act a bit more mature.

i guess thats all i think about.tatau laa whats gonna happen in the future.really need to absorb the positive vibe.

p/s:split personality