as usual, this freaking feeling comes again at 3 am with suara's song constantly repeat on my laptop. honestly, i cry every night before my eyes close properly and enter lala land. i was and still having this kind of hope;
to be with you until our heart stop beating,until the world stop spinning
to love and be loved back
nobody is important for us
nevertheless, i keep repeating to myself, that i cannot be with you
i am totally blur either to trust you or not
hell yeah my jealousy is too bad
i am sorry
i am to scared to lose you actually
you are still in my heart
this might be the best
as i wont bother with your life anymore
but you know the consequences of this?
there will be a huge gap between us
that love no longer exist
until one day we ask each other
"where the hell our love has gone?"
it is true
i cannot understand the presence of other girls in your life
but it is okay
i will let you do what ever you want
i deactivate my facebook
i did not call you, sms you
i did not ask ask ask and ask
i answer your call
i answer all your questions
is that better?
better right because i am following whatever you want
my internship will be started really soon which is end of november.
i guess it is on 29th november.
so i can say that i don't have much time to spend with mr boyfriend.
da nak FINAL la plak an.
im having this kind of phobia
which is LONG DISTANCE RELATIONSHIP
he will go out with other girls?
he will not give me a call?
he will forget me?
the thing is for almost two year plus
we have seen each other like everyday except for holidays
now i will be away for six months!
now God really wanna test us.
dah la penyaket jealous chacha sangat critical.
hence, there are few things i hafta do:
1# mr boyfriend and me hafta be honest and we should discuss what are our expectations. eg; i must try to trust him and i know of course la dia akan kawan with others. so chacha tak patut la nak kongkong.dia blaja lama lagi kot.he still under student's phase.so kena paham.macam la cha tak tau student's life camner kan.sume tuh tak ke mana.
2# try to meet up as many as we can.since weekdays we all gonna be super duper busy, we gonna meet up friday and saturday. during the meeting, heart to heart kena ada so that tade la perasaan tuh hilang, and avoid la marah marah. nape nak marah marah if you only have little time to spend with an? if mr boyfriend wat hal , so many think kena re-think.
3#communication!like seriously, important sangat. i wont miss to give him a wake up call every morning. cha still la kena encourage dia blaja.and as a result, he must call me before sleep.okay i nak this thing compulsory. tak kira.how about sms?i dont think we have to sms 24/7.enough with the calls.we have to act a bit more mature.
i guess thats all i think about.tatau laa whats gonna happen in the future.really need to absorb the positive vibe.